Thrive Like a Mother Podcast
I'm Ebony and I'm a mama to 3 beautiful souls. I'm learning how navigate my trauma healing while building the life I never dreamed was possible. I'm a survivor of childhood abuse and for the longest time, I believed that if anyone knew my story, I wouldn't be worthy of love. Many years later and now I know that it far from the truth.
On the Thrive Like a Mother podcast, I'll share the resources and tools I use on the daily to cultivate a healthy mindset break the wheel of survival. Here we're about honesty and transparency. Because at the root of it all, my purpose in creating this podcast is so that you know you are never alone in your journey.
There may be laughter, there may be tears and we'll do it all by linking arms and learning to thrive together.
Thrive Like a Mother Podcast
Breaking the Cycle of Survival: Angela Turpin on Childhood Wounds and Transformation
In today's episode, I welcome trauma healer Angela Turpin for a powerful conversation about healing childhood wounds and transforming past trauma into purpose. Angela shares about her decade-long healing journey and how becoming a mother accelerated her growth and transformation.
Tune in as we chat through:
• Beginning the healing journey after corporate burnout and remembering suppressed childhood trauma
• The non-linear nature of healing and the importance of journaling as a consistent tool
• Having to "burn down" her business to rebuild it with authenticity and alignment
• Navigating the balance between motherhood ambition without succumbing to guilt
• Learning to trust your intuition and recognize when inner wisdom is speaking
Ready to begin your own healing journey?
Connect with Angela on Instagram @transformwithAngela and check out her free training "Healed to Be Seen," designed to help you heal belonging wounds, sisterhood wounds, and mother wounds so you can create authentic connections and show up fully in your life and business.
Thank you so much for listening in! If anything in this episode resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you left a review or shared it with a friend or on social media.
And don't forget to tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me get the word out.
Follow and chat with me on Instagram:
Podcast account - @thrivelikeamother.podcast
Personal account - @thrive.empowered
Sending you light and love always!
Hey, love, I'm Ebony and welcome to Thrive Like a Mother On this podcast. We're scared for our truth, but that fear is what fuels us to truly live in it. You're in the right place if you feel like you're stuck in survivor mode and you're ready to step into who you were truly meant to be. I'll share resources and tools I use daily to help you in your journey towards a healthier mindset and to break the wheel of survival. The journey may not be easy, but you won't have to face it alone. I'm a mama of three, healing day by day from past trauma, and I'm on a mission to build a life I've always dreamed of but never thought was possible. So, love, if you're ready to believe in what's possible, let's link arms and thrive together. Hey, loves, and welcome back to another episode of the Thrive Like a Mother podcast.
Ebony Fleming:I am so excited for our guest today. Her name is Angela Turpin and she's a trauma healer, the owner of Transform. With Angela, she's also the podcast host of Community Made and also a published author, and she began her healing of her childhood wounds and transforming stories about 10 years ago and has helped countless women heal their own wounds for the past five years with lasting results. Angela also has a master's degree in transpersonal psychology and five years in the corporate world. She also has tons of certifications in trauma-informed coaching, nlp, hypnosis, life coaching, timeline therapy.
Ebony Fleming:If you can think of it, angela is she just got so much in her pocket and she is seriously y'all on a mission to help women heal their childhood wounds of y'all on a mission to help women heal their childhood wounds and really transform, rewrite their story so they can apply their business strategy with ease. And you know we are all about ease here on Thrive Like a Mother. We are all about thriving, and so I can't wait for you to hear from her Just without further ado. Let's get into it from her Just without further ado. Let's get into it, okay, angela, I am literally so excited to have you here on the podcast today. It feels like it was literally yesterday that we were gracing the same stage. I can't even believe that it's April already, but just watching you on that stage, you are such a powerful light and I know our listeners today are just going to gain so much from our conversation.
Angela Turpin:I'm so excited to be here and be a part of this, and it does feel like it was just yesterday that we were on stage together and it was already been two months ago, so it's just the time has flown by.
Ebony Fleming:It really has, it really has, it really has. Now I was going to say I remember literally sitting in the audience listening to your keynote and literally knowing from your story and the way that you were sharing it that you have been on just this deep healing journey and so I want to really start there. Can you take us back to when that first started for you? I know our listeners would love to hear that Like what was your kind of turning point to say this is where I started to heal?
Angela Turpin:10 years ago. I kind of lost track of the time, but I was working in corporate and I was working for an SVP of HR and it was like the worst professional experience that I had had and I had never had that before in my life. It was always my personal life that was kind of iffy and skeptical, but it was never my professional life, and so when that started to fall apart, I started to find like personal development was introduced to me and so of course then I started watching like all the motivational videos. I started reading like strength finders, I was introduced to the Myra Briggs, the MBTI and all of those things and I was like, okay, this is really cool.
Angela Turpin:And then, about two years into that journey, I remembered and had flashbacks of my childhood sexual abuse that I had had and I was just like, oh, there's no way this affects me, no way, I'm fine. And then two years later I got pregnant with Aubrey Unexpectedly. I had only known him for two weeks and that's when I knew like I needed to do something about this. Like obviously it affected me Because and not that it's wrong to get pregnant after two weeks of knowing someone Now that I'm healed, I understand how I was giving my energy away to just whoever. And so I was like whoa, like this needs to change.
Angela Turpin:And so I started healing from that trauma while I was pregnant with Aubrey, and then it kind of just snowballed from there and then I still really couldn't get my stuff together as far as like relationship goes, because I still ended up in another toxic relationship after Aubrey was born, and then I kind of just burned my business to the ground and burnt everything to the ground, and then I had to rebuild after that, realizing that there was so much still that I needed to heal that was associated with the sexual trauma that I had experienced when I was a child, but also early into my adult life, like when I was 19 and 26,. It had so much to do with all of those things, and so I had to continue to like rebuild and heal more deeply, more deeply. And what's crazy is that when I was pregnant like that was just the beginning of it and then later on I was like this goes so deep, this is so intense.
Ebony Fleming:Oh my gosh. Yeah, I love that you explain it that way, because I think a lot of people sometimes we think of like healing as so, like linear, like okay, we start here, this is when we're gonna be done. Even sometimes in therapy I remember my therapist asking, like when do you think you'll be like good? And I was like I don't know how to answer that question. It should have been like a flag in my head that maybe that might not have been the therapist for me at the time. But, goodness, like yeah, healing is not linear, and so I love that you brought up those points like hey, there are going to be certain points in your life that maybe you need to reprocess or just reevaluate your trauma, just at different points of your life. It will still kind of come up and it's really just how you navigate through that. Are there any points that you brought up that you felt like you maybe were going like backwards and like how, what are some like tools that you use to like continue moving forward through your healing?
Angela Turpin:sure, when I, when I knew that I was in a toxic relationship, I will, my immediate thought was I should be healed enough to not be in this situation. Right, like I shouldn't be in this situation anymore I was, so there was like a lot of I felt like I had regressed a lot, and especially after I burnt my business down to like completely to the ground and I was just like Okay, like I haven't healed, like I don't know, I don't know anything at this point, and so what I did do is I've journaling has always stayed with me, did do is journaling has always stayed with me. I journaled a lot when I was a child and then, you know, I got like too cool for school and I was like I'm not going to do this anymore and stop doing it. And then it saved me when I started healing to begin with, and so now it's something like it's something that I do every single day, and so that's something that I would recommend doing. That's the tool that I've carried with me, no matter what, like with meditation and stuff.
Angela Turpin:I like to meditate, I'll meditate, but I meditate with like periods of time, so like I'll go for like months where I meditate every single day and then I'll go months without ever doing it.
Angela Turpin:Journaling has always stuck with me and I think the reason why is because it's much easier to process what it is that you're going through while you're journaling. Because when you're meditating and I don't feel like enough people talk about this when you're meditating and you have those flashbacks or those experiences, going into meditation is not safe for you at that point. So I wouldn't, it's not something that I would recommend or go into. So I've kind of had like a roller coaster relationship with it, if you will, but journaling is definitely it. And then I went through like a deep integration process after I burned my business to the ground, and integration essentially at least for me it just means like becoming whole, becoming one, and so a lot of that looks like leaning into all the doubt and all the fear and my inner child and the parts of me that felt abandoned and rejected and punished. So I had to really look at these pieces of me that were kind of running the show and kind of bringing them back in so that I would stop sabotaging all of my success.
Ebony Fleming:Wow, that's so powerful, Just to recognize that there are these parts of you that, hey, we need to have a talk, basically, these different parts of you, like, hey, let's talk it out, let's figure out what's going on here, forgive ourselves in whichever ways we need to. I think a lot of people don't think about that either, that sometimes we think of forgiveness as looking at outside sources. Sometimes the work is in here that you need to start looking at outside sources. Sometimes, like, the work is like it's in here, but you need to start looking at goodness. Okay, uh, let's see. Okay, so we were talking about um, you were talking about having to, like burn your business to the ground and start basically from, you know, base level foundation. How can you share how you started to rebuild your business after that happened and like what it looked like, what healing kind of contributed to to that? Like how did it shape what you started to build, what your business, what your business started to look like after that?
Angela Turpin:yeah. So what I did is I went into this period of not being on social media, not promoting anything, not being online, and I think it was like for a good six to nine months that I decided not to show up. I needed to heal, not only from like burning my business to the ground, but also being in this unhealthy relationship, and I didn't understand that a lot of my sabotage was created through that relationship, and I didn't understand how much your brain chemistry changes, your body changes after being in an unhealthy relationship like that. So I had to really bring everything back almost, I guess, is the best way to describe it. I had to relearn how to trust myself. I had to relearn who I was. I had to understand that I had really, I guess, gotten soft is the best way to put it Because you know, before I started healing, I was super independent, I was very blunt, I didn't let anybody help me.
Angela Turpin:I didn't let anybody help me. I didn't let anybody do those things for me. And then I kind of swung to the other side of the spectrum where I was a complete doormat, because I thought that I was the toxic one. Right, I was the problem. And so what I realized in that time was there's an in-between, there is an in between it is okay to be independent, it's also okay to know when to ask for help, it's okay to have boundaries and it's okay to love people. Like I had to learn that I don't want to say balance, because I'm not sure I necessarily believe in that, but, like in this space of harmony right, I had to be in this harmony with myself and understanding that my body was constantly giving me signals but I was ignoring them, and so I had to really come into the space of trusting myself, my body, my intuition, learning how to pull myself back after being, you know, gaslit and not believed in, and just totally having my worth, I guess, lowered again in essence. And so I had to really learn how to do that.
Angela Turpin:And while that was happening, I really looked at what do I want from my business, like what do I truly want for my business, who do I want to be and what am I going to give to people? Because my business before that it was called as free, as you see, and so it was very specific, but I had like outgrown it as well, so I really changed it so it could be like all encompassing and really also represent who I am now and allow that to evolve, allow that to change as we. As you know, I evolve and as I heal, and so I had to really do it in a very embodied way, whereas before I just kind of did everything in a, I don't want to say masculine way, but I just kind of did everything because I thought that that's what I should be doing, where this was more of. I'm going to be doing this because this is what feels good. Okay, that's not feeling good anymore. It's time for me to evolve, and so that's really where I started to like change and shift things.
Ebony Fleming:Yes, yeah, I love what you're describing. For me, I describe it kind of as like finding my flow. Even like in the kitchen, I'm finding my cooking flow. When I'm, you know, as a mom, I'm figuring out my flow, especially being a mom having Henry. Here. There was a lot of there's, no balance here.
Ebony Fleming:There's no there's a lot of juggling and literally just going with the flow, which at that time, was his flow most of the time. So I love that you, that you bring that up, really like listening to your intuition, not going by. Okay, this is the way it has to be in business. Just really start like listening with it and I think people will yeah, they will resonate with that, Because we need more of that in our world. There's so many strategies out there, right?
Angela Turpin:Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I love that you bring that up Because it's like a lot of coaches and I love them and I love that we're all in business and we have this space online. But a lot of coaches are reusing a system that worked for them, without considering what I want from life, or my energy, or my time that's allotted, or whether or not I have children. And then the hardest thing the hardest thing is for especially for me is to invest with someone who doesn't also have children, because they have different life, a different reality, different expectations, and I'm like I'm not doing that. I don't understand what makes you think that that's even possible for me. And then I see other coaches that come in and be like, oh well, you're triggered by that because you don't think that that's possible and all of those things.
Angela Turpin:I'm like, no, you don't have children. You don't understand. I don't think we should be having this conversation, like, until you are there and you know what that's like, then we shouldn't be, we shouldn't be talking about this. Not that people without kids can't have opinions Absolutely they can, and I was one of those people. Okay, I was just one of those people. But as soon as you have kids, everything actually changes and you don't understand that until you have kids.
Ebony Fleming:Very true, Gosh. Okay, so perfect segue into this question. So many moms like they are out there and they're literally sitting there. They have a dream on their heart that they have not put out into the world yet and they have that. You know faded mom guilt right About how much time and energy it takes to go into it. Can you share with them how you navigate that balance, that flow between, like, being ambitious and knowing you have big dreams and goals and motherhood?
Angela Turpin:Yeah, so that one is so hard because you know Aubrey's in school now, so everything looks a little bit different, right? So because she's in school, I think it's roughly about six hours. I have six hours to work on my dream, six hours to build a business, six hours to do the things that are driving me as a human being, right, not just as a mom, but before that she was at home. She was at home with me all the time pretty much, except for when she would go with her dad, and so I had to really figure out, like, how to make it work and what to do with all the emotions that I felt, because I wanted to be with her, but I also wanted to work at the same time, and what I had to really learn was to, number one, be gentle with myself, because, as much as I would love to believe that mom guilt is going away, it's something that I've had to learn to navigate and really lean into, because I feel like when I'm leaning into the guilt, it allows me to see what I truly want for my business, like the reality is, is that I, even though I'm like building it and it's growing and all of those things, what I really want is in this space is that I have a business that runs by itself so that when my daughter wants me or needs me or doesn't really want me to work, I can be like, yeah, that's fine, baby, we can, it's growing, it's making us money, we don't have to worry about it, I can be here with you.
Angela Turpin:So I noticed that I feel that when I feel like that contrast, if you will, that I want to be with my daughter and I have to go work, but I would much rather my work automatically make me all this money so that I can just be like I'm just going to be with you and that's completely okay. So I've had to learn how to understand what that emotion actually meant for me. But also I had to lean on people to come in and help me with her while she's here, like if I hired a babysitter for a while, which was really helpful because if she wanted to come see me, she could still come in and see me while I was working and that felt really good. That helped with the mom guilt. But also I also had to learn when my kid was playing me. So I had to learn like my child is just trying to get me not to be working.
Ebony Fleming:You know what I mean. Like I had to be like, okay, baby trying to get me not to be working.
Angela Turpin:You know what I mean. Like I had to be like okay, baby, like I love you. I've been with you all day. I have to go do this one thing that's going to take me 30 minutes. You'll be okay, like you'll, you'll, you'll survive, you'll be okay.
Ebony Fleming:Yes that's so funny, they, they know they definitely know and yeah, like you said, like that mom guilt it's not, it's not gonna go away, whether you have, like now, six hours like Angela or, um, like me, I'm trying to think I don't even know, I don't even remember when Henry was here how many hours I had, but it was being realistic with this is how much time I had. Let's even take nap time an hour. Sometimes it was being realistic with this is how much time I had. Let's even take nap time an hour. Sometimes it was an hour when he was sleeping and being like really intentional, what am I going to use this time for?
Ebony Fleming:I like how you talked about the goal is literally to not be sitting in front of our computers all day. Right, it's basically to build this business that works for us, so that we have time to spend with our babies more. You know the time is, more with them, less on, you know, sitting in front of the computer. So, yeah, like be, you've got to be like realistic with just where you're at. Don't beat yourself up. Even if it's like 30 minutes that you're taking towards building that dream, that is still something, towards building towards the bigger goals. Like remember remembering that big picture and that why is so huge. So I want to. We're talking about your daughter, of course, and you are raising the most beautiful little girl I know. She has a disability. Can you share a little bit about what your experience has been with that and just kind of what that journey has looked like for you?
Angela Turpin:Yeah, sure. So Aubrey has one of the rarest forms of epilepsy for little girls, so it is a genetic disease that's passed down from her dad and so he gives it to 100% of his female offspring. And so, because it's a gene, and its mutation on, this gene actually looks different for everybody or every little girl that has it. And so she um, from what they've been telling us, she only has this seizure part of it. But as her mother, I also see it in her like socially and making friends, and I do feel like she um I don't want to say off from other little kids, but she is different than other little kids and I have noticed that we I do deal with like behaviors and things like that. And then, of course, you know our life is different. So if Aubrey has a fever, that we need to be prepared to go to the hospital at that point in time, even because the rescue meds don't always help her when she's having a fever. So when it's when we perceive fevers as being normal for other little kids it's not always normal for us so we get prepared to go to the hospital, we get prepared to navigate all of these things.
Angela Turpin:It's been one of the hardest things that I have ever dealt with. I have watched Aubrey die twice and watched her like come back to life because the first responders came in and saved her, and so it's been very crazy. I had to learn how to navigate that fear of completely losing my child, and so, of course, you know, I worked with a mentor with that to learn how to lean into that. But also, like you know, it's so different, Like I resonate with the moms that have children with autism because you, just your child feels different for you.
Angela Turpin:Like you don't know if they're ever going to have like a quote, unquote normal life. You don't know what's going to happen for them. Or if we go into, if she goes into, having seizures, what's going to happen after that? Is she going to regress? Is she going to come back as her, you know, back to her baseline is what they call it. So it's a lot of stress that I did not expect to be navigating as a mom, especially when I chose to be a single mom. Like I didn't. I was like this is fine, I've got this, Like it's not a big deal, and then when this happened, I was like, oh my gosh, I was like I don't even know oh my gosh.
Ebony Fleming:I was like I don't even know. Gosh, oh my goodness. And yeah, like, oh, I think about um, just the way, the way that God, like you know, he never gives us anything that he doesn't know already that we can handle, right, I believe that wholeheartedly, especially with both of our journeys. I understand that. Yeah, that's huge, that's huge for me. Can you talk about just how having Aubrey, how that has really shaped you, not just as like a mother, a person, but also as an entrepreneur, just maybe all three of those? How has that, how has your experience with her as a mom, just shaped you?
Angela Turpin:Yeah. So I do want to say before, having the trauma that I've had has allowed me to be able to handle the chaos that happens when those things are happening. So it is something that I was I don't want to say emotionally prepared for, but I was definitely prepared for. So and that's one of the things that like translates to being an entrepreneur and being a person when things are so bad, so bad and so chaotic and so out of control. I don't know what it is, but I'm just so grounded in the moment, I know how to handle this stress and this stress and this stress and still be focused on my desire, still be focused on what matters, still be focused on Aubrey and advocating for her and speaking up for us and what works. And all of that translates into being an entrepreneur, because when you're an entrepreneur, I mean, as you already know, it heals every aspect of you. You want to know what your insecurities are and what your shadows are. Just sign up to be an entrepreneur.
Angela Turpin:Like everything's coming at you and you learn like I have to speak up and it's like, okay, well, if I can speak up for my child, tell the doctor what they're going to do, go to court and advocate for my daughter. I can do. I can show up online and say this stuff it's not that serious now, right? So it's kind of like it's built me to be even stronger and even more grounded and even more anchored into who I am, which has been one of the hardest journeys, I feel like because you know, as moms, we and I don't know what it's like for you, but I have always felt like I'm not good enough to be a mom, like I'm unworthy to be a mom, and so learning to deal with the court and dealing with her dad has allowed me to be like you know what you are the most deserving and worthy and good enough mom there is for your child.
Angela Turpin:Like, stop believing all of this other stuff and I don't know where that stuff comes from. As moms, it's weird, but it's like I'm don't play into that anymore, and so that has also helped me feel like I'm good enough for my business, I'm good enough to help my clients. I'm you know, I'm good enough to be out there on stage, on social media, all of those things. So it kind of just it's like they go to, they just go together. If you can navigate being a mom, you can navigate being a business owner Like they're almost the same thing, that's so true, except for you can turn your business off.
Angela Turpin:You can't turn your kid off.
Ebony Fleming:Yeah, I love that Because it's so true. Yeah, I love that because it's so true. Literally, being a mom is, I think, even equal or greater than having a full-time job. We wear so so many different hats, so we deal with so many different personalities, like our own included, just navigating everything with them as they're growing up, because they're their own little people too right, just gosh, just everything, everything. So I want to wrap us up. If you could go back five years and tell yourself anything, what would that be?
Angela Turpin:Wow, five years ago. Okay, so five years ago, right around this time, I would start dating my ex, and I was actually. I remember it to this day. I was writing in my journal about you know, I don't think that he's right for me, I think that you need to stop dating him or whatever, but I convinced myself that I was fearful because of all the experiences that I had in my life, and I would tell myself listen to yourself, your intuition is right. And that is definitely what I would tell myself. Yeah.
Ebony Fleming:Yes, listen, within, that gut is always telling you something. You just got to figure out what it's saying. And, yeah, I love that you said you were journaling too, because that's huge. If you need to write it out as things are changing, as you're writing, you'll start to like, your vision will become clear. Goodness, ok. Yeah absolutely so. Can you share any? I know you have so much going on right now in your business. Can you share any upcoming or current resources that our listeners can utilize in their own healing journeys?
Angela Turpin:Yeah, sure, so I currently have, and this will be out like. This is just the freebie that is out. It's Healed to be Seen and it's a training and it has a 25 minute module, journal, prompts and a meditation, and it's actually designed to help you heal your belonging wounds, your sisterhood wounds and your mother wounds, so that you can feel like not only can you create your own thriving community, but you feel like you can create friendships and sisterhood and feel more grounded in who you are, because I'm a huge believer that once you heal those wounds, you start bringing the right people into your world.
Ebony Fleming:Yes, yes, I love that. I love that, definitely having the right circle and the right support system. You and I both know it is so important. Even just being in California, I love that it brought us together because I feel like now I have a new sister, I have a new person in my circle that we can root for each other. It's just, it's amazing, okay. So where, angela, where can our listeners connect with you and just continue to follow along on your journey?
Angela Turpin:Sure, so I'm pretty sure you can find me like everywhere. The handle is at transform with Angela. I am mostly on Instagram, but you can find me anywhere with that handle.
Ebony Fleming:Yes, perfect. Thank you so much again for being here and sharing your heart and your story and your journey with us. I know today's conversation is going to be so inspiring for our listeners, so just thank you.
Angela Turpin:Thank you so much for having me.
Ebony Fleming:Thank you so much for listening love. If anything in today's episode resonated with you, share it with your bestie, or share it on social media and tag me so we can chat about it, as always, sending you light and love, and remember you are worthy, you are enough and you deserve to thrive.
