Thrive Like a Mother Podcast
I'm Ebony and I'm a mama to 3 beautiful souls. I'm learning how navigate my trauma healing while building the life I never dreamed was possible. I'm a survivor of childhood abuse and for the longest time, I believed that if anyone knew my story, I wouldn't be worthy of love. Many years later and now I know that it far from the truth.
On the Thrive Like a Mother podcast, I'll share the resources and tools I use on the daily to cultivate a healthy mindset break the wheel of survival. Here we're about honesty and transparency. Because at the root of it all, my purpose in creating this podcast is so that you know you are never alone in your journey.
There may be laughter, there may be tears and we'll do it all by linking arms and learning to thrive together.
Thrive Like a Mother Podcast
Rest for the ambitious black woman
Your worth isn't measured by your productivity, and your rest shouldn't be treated as a reward you earn only after completing an endless to-do list.
This powerful truth forms the foundation of this episode where I dive deep into the complicated relationship ambitious Black women often have with rest.
Growing up watching my mother work tirelessly—studying in our bathroom after long workdays—I internalized the belief that exhaustion was the price of success. But after years of pushing until my body literally gave out, forcing unwanted breaks through illness, I've learned a transformative lesson: rest isn't what comes after the work is done. It's what sustains us so we can show up fully in every area of our lives.
The shift from viewing rest as a reward to embracing it as a priority doesn't happen overnight. It requires consciously scheduling moments of pause throughout your day, protecting that time as sacred, and reframing what success looks like. When we make this shift, something beautiful happens—we show up differently as mothers, entrepreneurs, partners, and friends.
We model for our children that their value isn't tied to productivity. My daughter Olivia now sees me taking intentional breaks, and I'm teaching her that rest is strength, not weakness.
Ready to reclaim your rest? This episode has you start by auditing your beliefs about rest. We'll learn how to:
- incorporate micro-rest moments into your day
- fiercely protect your rest time
- include rest in your definition of success
Remember, rest is resistance in a culture that glorifies burnout. It's restoration for a body and mind that carry so much. And most importantly, it's your birthright—something you deserve right now, exactly as you are.
Share this episode with another ambitious mama who needs permission to pause, and let me know how you're prioritizing rest this week!
Thank you so much for listening in! If this episode spoke to you, it would mean the world to me if you left a review or shared it with a friend. And don’t forget to tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me spread the word.
Follow and chat with me on Instagram:
Podcast account - @thrivelikeamother.podcast
Personal account - @thrive.empowered
Sending you light and love always!
Hey, love, I'm Ebony and welcome to Thrive Like a Mother On this podcast. We're scared for our truth, but that fear is what fuels us to truly live in it. You're in the right place if you feel like you're stuck in survivor mode and you're ready to step into who you were truly meant to be. I'll share resources and tools I use daily to help you in your journey towards a healthier mindset and to break the wheel of survival. The journey may not be easy, but you won't have to face it alone. I'm a mama of three, healing day by day from past trauma, and I'm on a mission to build a life I've always dreamed of but never thought was possible. So, love, if you're ready to believe in what's possible, let's link arms and thrive together. Hey, loves, welcome back to the Thrive Like a Mother podcast. I'm so grateful that you are here with me today.
Speaker 1:Y'all, today is a real conversation, y'all. We're going to chat about rest, and specifically specifically rest for the ambitious Black women, which is who I am. I happen to be an ambitious Black woman and, honestly, y'all, for the longest time, I really grew up with the belief that rest was something that I had to earn, that you only got rest when the hard work was done. But honestly, if I'm being honest, now, being a mother of three, I have realized that the work is never done. The to-do list never ends. There's always another task, always another responsibility, always someone else who needs us right. And so for me, that means that at one point I was constantly just pouring out, constantly striving and really only resting when my body gave out and when it forced me to, which, as you can imagine, led to a lot of times where, you know, I might be down for a few days sick, and I started to get curious of like, ok, this isn't working exactly the way I think it should be working. I don't think my body should be crashing out, so to speak. And so I've been taking time since that point in my life you know my 20s where I was just go, go, go. Rest is only when the hard work is done, when you are at capacity.
Speaker 1:I've been working to unlearn that habit and I am realizing that now rest is not a reward, it's not something that you work towards, your rest is a priority. It's not what I get, you know, after I've hustled and I've worked hard and I feel like, yeah, you know, I've done what I need to do. Now I can rest. No, it's not that. It's truly what sustains me and what honestly keeps me being able to show up in the capacity that I want to show up. I don't want to show up, you know, to my kids half tired because I've been working so hard and pouring out to everyone everything that needs my support, that needs me to serve, and so I want to be able to actually show up as the mom, as the woman, as the entrepreneur that I want to be on a daily basis and because of that, like, rest needed to stop being a reward and it needed to become a part of just me, just what I do. The truth really is, y'all my kids are watching me. They don't just like hear what I say they, by the way, they hear everything, but they really are watching how I live, how I show up on a daily basis, not just for them, but just in the world in general. And I realized that I didn't want them to grow up thinking that exhaustion was normal, that burnout is normal or that their worth was tied to how much they do, how much they accomplish. I wanted them to see rest truly as a form of strength, as you know, non-negotiable part of life. That is what rest is to me, and so today we're going to talk about what shifting from rest as a reward to rest as a priority, what that looks like, what steps you can start taking to reach for that and, honestly, what it meant for me personally. I want you to start reclaiming your rest as our priority too, because, honestly, we all deserve it. Not someday I'll get the rest. You know now is not the season. No, today is the season. It's always the season for rest right now.
Speaker 1:And so I brought up very early on in this episode about being an ambitious Black woman and I have learned that, you know, oftentimes, being in that space, we are expected to carry it all, to carry everything. My first kind of interaction with seeing rest was, honestly, watching my mom go, go, go so hard. She was working, she's working on her degree. There were times where she would get home late and then in our apartment she would be working on her homework in the bathroom. That was her office, and I remember just wondering like, wow, she's working really hard, and I love that that was instilled in me, that habit of working hard towards a goal, towards your purpose towards, you know, walking your path. I really, really loved that, that was instilled in me, and now that I am the mom right, the mama of three, so, as I say, like walking in her, in her shoes and in her footsteps I am learning that I want to do things a little bit differently and that I want to, yes, work towards the path, yes, walk in my purpose, but I also want rest.
Speaker 1:The rest does not come after the work is done, because the work is never done. So if the work is never done, when are you going to rest? When? When are you going to make that a priority? I grew up learning, you know, that things like survival and strength and hustling, those were habits and traits that were glorified, right, that was like, oh man, you've survived so much, you're so strong, you're working so hard. And while those things are beautiful, we also have to have the other side of that, where, yes, I am prioritizing my rest and I'm a survivor and I'm strong and I'm able to hustle because I've taken the priority of getting my rest, I've taken the priority of getting my rest. That is what I know now, right, and so let's chat through what it means for rest to be a priority rather than a reward.
Speaker 1:As far as priority, right, let's define that word. Priorities in your life, those are your non-negotiables, those are your scheduled things, those are sacred, protected moments in your life. Those are your priorities, right? And when you think about that, if you're a mama listening to this, think about it in the way as your kid, right. Spending time with your kid is not a reward, it's a priority. We are ecstatic to be able to spend time with them. It is a non-negotiable to spend time with them. We protect that time that we spend with them, and so why wouldn't we do that for our rest? Why? Because when you think of the word reward and we look at that definition, rewards are conditional, right, only if I've done this thing. They are inconsistent, it's not something that you get often, right? And rewards are something that can be easily taken away, and so you can be talking to yourself and saying, no, I'm going to push harder, I'll get the rest later. That's when we're thinking of rest as a reward.
Speaker 1:And for me, I know, as far as making rest a priority, I brought up that word scheduled right, because now, rest is not something that I'm working towards. You know, towards the end of the week, we think of the weekend as our rest point. Now I'm thinking of how can I build rest into every day, every week, every single moment. Not just because I work so hard all week, now I can have rest during the weekend. No, we need to start thinking of and this is what I've done in my life scheduling the rest within the week. So, whether that means taking a break midday to take a walk to, you know, sit with yourself and do some breath work, you really have to define what rest means for you. But make it sacred, schedule it, pop it in your work calendar, pop it in the family calendar so everyone also starts seeing this time for mommy to take time to read or take a nap or just, like I said, be with a moment with yourself.
Speaker 1:That shift for me, when I started prioritizing rest, when I started making it something that was sacred, making it something that was scheduled, I started to show up differently, not only as a mom, but as an entrepreneur, as a friend, as a wife. I started to show up differently. I started to feel myself starting to have a little bit more capacity to show up in the best way, in the best version of myself that I wanted to be in those areas that I wanted to pour into and those people that I wanted to pour into, things started to look differently and I started to realize, wow, you know, hustle is good. I'm not going to say hustle is a bad thing, but hustle plus rest, that is the magic right there. That is the magic to make sure that not only, yes, I'm working towards this goal, but I am also taking care of me so that I can show up as the best version of me.
Speaker 1:Y'all, your kids, your kids, are watching, watching. They are not just listening, they are watching. The other day, olivia started to just notice and see when I was resting and, honestly, as my kids get older, I get to be a little bit more vocal with them about hey, mama is taking a break right now, you know, and even offering it up to them Do you think you want a break right now? If they say no, that's okay, but starting to teach them that rest is not something that we have to work towards. Even with Olivia coming home from school after a really long day, instead of just jumping straight into homework, giving her that opportunity to take a moment and rest her brain before she starts, you know, tackling more tasks. Those are the things that your kids, you know. As they're growing up, they're going to start recognizing that for themselves. They're going to start learning it early so that when you know Olivia, jade, henry, when they are my age, they know that rest is something that is sacred. That legacy, that legacy will continue to go on.
Speaker 1:We're breaking that generational cycle right that we have to work hard for our rest. We are breaking the cycle that we have to be exhausted. If we're not exhausted, we're not doing it right, and that is just absolutely not true. If you are well-rested, if you are working hard, you are doing it right. You are doing it right. You are listening in to yourself within and seeing. You know what's my capacity.
Speaker 1:Do I need to take a break right now, or can I show up in the way that I want to? You know, I honestly ask myself that. You know, throughout the day, throughout the day, I check in with self and say where are we feeling right now? Can we move on to the next task? Can we keep pouring into this task or do we take a second to breathe? And I know sometimes, you know, when you're working things can feel like, or when you're just being a mom in general, things can feel like it's back to back to back. It's never ending. You can always always take that five minutes heck, two minutes something to say. I need to take a deep breath right now.
Speaker 1:I am noticing a trend within myself that I am working towards exhaustion, and that is not where we want to be. I want to help us start shifting the perspective of working. You know so hard that we feel exhausted by the end of the day. Feeling tired at the end of the day is normal. Right, it's normal. Our bodies need rest, but exhausted every single day doesn't have to be like that, it doesn't. And so I want to get into some tips. Right, because as we're reframing rest as a part of your resilience and your power, as we're reframing rest as not something that means that you are lazy or not doing enough, we want to figure out some ways to actually take some steps towards that, because not saying immediately that that shift is just like bam okay, yes, now my rest is sacred, now my rest is a priority.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you need to take the small steps to make the big impact, and so first thing I want you guys to think about is just honestly checking with your own beliefs. Where does your rest story come from? Right? When you were growing up, what did rest look like for you and your family? You know what did your parents or even your friends or your teachers. You know what did. What examples did you have that built your beliefs about rest and really just take a second to think about that, journal it out and just start reminding yourself just kind of what habits you may have picked up right, micro rest moments this is number two, as you're auditing, like your beliefs and you're like, okay, yeah, these are the things that I believe about rest currently.
Speaker 1:How do we start to shift that right? Start with micro rest moments. I just talked about that with the can even be two minutes right, taking a quick second to take a deep breath and taking a second to step outside and just feel the fresh air, moments of stillness, moments of not moving and then, even if you can't, working your way in to naps. You know we, as parents, we make sure that our kids get naps right. It doesn't end when you're a child. We also, as adults, we deserve moments of rest and naps. Do not mean that you're lazy, it just means you're giving yourself a moment to reset so that you can continue the day right, showing up as your best self. We all know, you know, especially when we're taking care of these kids, oftentimes our nights aren't as typical as you would think, where we're just sleeping all the way through the night, right. Or maybe you're someone who doesn't have kids yet and you're just having trouble sleeping right at night.
Speaker 1:How can you still work those moments of rest into your day, taking a deep breath, taking a step outside micro moments, and y'all? Protect your rest. This is number three Protect your rest. It is sacred. Make boundaries with work. If you have to pop something in your calendar that says, hey, this is a 15-minute break, I know, oftentimes, when you're someone who is not on an hourly you know payment schedule things look a little bit different. You have a little bit more control of your calendar and that means, yes, you have to schedule your own breaks. Don't just be sitting there working for eight hours and realizing, man, I'm exhausted. No, take control of your breaks, of your rest. Protect it, it is sacred. And reframe what success and rest looks like for you. This is number four Include your rest as part of the success equation.
Speaker 1:So I know a lot of times we think of when we finish a task, when we've reached a goal. That is success. Make rest a part of that, even on a daily, as you're thinking about your day Wow, look at how many things I got done. Add rest into that. Wow, look at these moments of rest. I cultivate it for myself. Look at these moments of rest I said were sacred to me and I honored and gave myself that throughout the day.
Speaker 1:And so, as we close today, I really just want to remind you again that rest is not something that you have to earn. It's not that gold star that you get after hustling with hard work or checking every single box on your to-do list for the day. Rest is a right, it is a priority, it is sacred. It is your way of saying to yourself I matter just as much as the things that I am doing, just as much as I'm doing for everyone else, just as much as I'm showing up to serve. It's really saying rest isn't me stepping back, it's me truly stepping into my fullest self, because when you realize that we are not humans on this earth meant to just work nonstop, you really start living your life in the full experience. Rest is a part of that. Don't fight it, don't. And when we start to shift into that mindset, when you start to implement those four things that I gave you, I'm going to remind you of those before we close today. But when we shift into that, we honestly give our bodies the space to heal and recover. We give our minds room to breathe, our minds that carry so much, our minds that never stop almost, and we give our children a look and a new model of what success really truly looks like.
Speaker 1:Success does not equal burnout. It does not equal exhaustion. Success can include ease. It can include naps. It can include giving yourself the moment to slow down. So let's talk about those four things again I'm going to remind you of what those were that you can start implementing these right.
Speaker 1:Audit your beliefs, take a moment and think about what beliefs you have around. Rest and just give yourself not with judgment right. Give yourself a chance to be curious. Two, take those micro-rest moments. Figure out what those mean for you. Three, your rest is sacred. Protect it at all costs or reframe what success looks like for you, and that means including rest into that equation.
Speaker 1:So if you've been honestly waiting for that permission to rest.
Speaker 1:This is it.
Speaker 1:Here it is. You don't need to do any more before you deserve a moment to pause. You are truly worthy of rest right now, in this moment, in this season, exactly as you are, and y'all thank you for spending this time with me in this episode. I truly hope that this conversation has given you some things to think about and has encouraged you to protect your rest the same way you protect your dreams, your purpose, your goals in life, because the truth is, you can't have one without the other. You can't have your dreams and your goals without giving yourself a moment to pause.
Speaker 1:So, if this episode spoke to you today, please share with another ambitious mama who needs to hear this today, that one that you know is going, going, going and doesn't seem to ever slow down. She probably needs to hear this just as much as you as well. And let me know, pop in my DMs, tag me in a story on Instagram. Let me know how you're going to make rest a part of your week this week. Let me know how you're going to make the space for that. Until next time. Remember that rest is resistance, rest is restoration, and rest is your birthright, and rest is your birthright. Thank you so much for listening love. If anything in today's episode resonated with you, share it with your bestie or share it on social media and tag me so we can chat about it. As always, sending you light and love, and remember you are worthy, you are enough and you deserve to thrive.
