Thrive Like a Mother Podcast

From Autopilot To Aligned: Building A Life And Business That Fit with Grecia Ruiz

Ebony Fleming Season 4 Episode 65

What if your thirties are less about having it all figured out and more about finally choosing what fits?

 

We sit down with Grecia Ruiz; author, speaker and founder of Italy Brides. We trace the real path from living on autopilot to building a life and business shaped by values, purpose, and time freedom. No hustle theater. No perfect timing. Just a series of honest check-ins, small brave steps, and a bubble bath that changed everything.

 

Grecia shares how a simple values exercise became her North Star to steer big decisions.

  • listing single words in silence
  • grouping themes
  • using one daily question; does this take me closer to what I value?

 

That clarity revealed what wasn’t working in a stable project management role and why previous baking ventures drained more energy than they returned. Grecia's breakthrough was designing work for alignment first. Italy Brides was born from that clarity and she now helps modern brides plan destination weddings in Italy with a grounded plan and calm execution.

 

We also dig into the power of community and coaching to turn fear into motion. Grecia and I met in a room full of women building purpose-led businesses. Her single decision led to mentorship, momentum, and a new definition of what’s possible. Grecia’s recent chapter in This Time It’s Personal shows the vulnerable side of change and why self-worth must come before strategy. Her book recommendation, Worthy by Jamie Kern Lima, frames the difference between external confidence and internal worth—and how believing you’re worthy now unlocks action you can sustain.

 

If you’re craving impact, time freedom, and a life that matches your values, this conversation offers a practical map and real encouragement. Listen, take one small step today, and tell us the value you’re choosing to live by this week.

 

Connect with Grecia on Instagram @itsgreciaruiz and @italybrides


Thank you so much for listening in! If this episode spoke to you, it would mean the world to me if you left a review or shared it with a friend. And don’t forget to tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me spread the word.

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Sending you light and love always!

SPEAKER_01:

I spent all of my 29th year really prepping for this new decade. And what that looked like for me was really taking a hard look at my career, my aspirations, and my values and finding a way to match all of that. So, what that looks like now is I've created a business called Italy Brides, where I, you know, help brides plan their destination wedding in Italy. And that really launched this expansion that you talked about, both into, from a career standpoint, into a business. And then also from a personal standpoint, we just saw each other, you know, at our the She Is Made for More live event. And I got to be a speaker at that event. And you've got to be a sponsor. That's really what this, what I mean when I say expansion. It has been a lot of expansion, career-wise, business-wise, and stepping into really who I am, who I truly am, into my values, and not being afraid to show up as who I am authentically in all areas of my life.

SPEAKER_00:

Hey, love. I'm Ebony and welcome to Thrive Like a Mother. On this podcast, we're scared for our truth, but that fear is what feels us to truly live. You're in the right place if you feel like you're stuck in survival mode and you're ready to step into who you were truly meant to be. I'll share resources and tools I use daily to help you in your journey with healthier mindset and to break the wheel of survival. The journey may not be easy, but you won't have to face it alone. I'm a mama of three, healing day by day from past trauma, and I'm on a mission to build a life I've always dreamed of, but never thought was possible. So, love, if you're ready to believe in what's possible, let's link arms and thrive together. Okay, welcome to another episode of the Thrive Like a Mother podcast. And as you guys see, I have a guest with me today. Um, Drescia, I wanna I wanna jump straight in because when you just answered your question about like what season of life you're in, you described it as expansion. So many big things, right? Turning 30, celebrating three years of marriage, and stepping into what you call your 30, flirty, and thriving era. I love it. I love it. But tell me, tell me what that means to you right now, the expansion and what that means to match it with thriving.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Thanks, Ebony. I am so excited to be here. Thank you for inviting me. And like you said, I think because your, you know, community and your podcast is starts with the word thrive, you know, I really related to that because, like you said, I just turned 30 just last month. And my entire birthday theme was around 13 going on 30, where the tagline is 30, flirty, and thriving. And it's funny because I, you know, when I first watched this movie when I was younger, I never understood why she wanted to be 30 so bad. And I didn't understand this whole, you know, thriving in your 30s. And I genuinely do now. You know, I've stepped into my 30s for just shy of one month now. And I definitely feel this. So I spent all of my 29th year really prepping for this new decade. And what that looked like for me was really taking a hard look at my career, my aspirations, and my values and finding a way to match all of that. So, what that looks like now is I've created a business called Italy Brides, where I, you know, help brides plan their destination wedding in Italy. And that really launched this expansion that you talked about, both into from a career standpoint into a business. And then also from a personal standpoint, we just saw each other, you know, at our the She Is Made for More live event. And I got to be a speaker at that event, right? And you've got to be a sponsor. That's really what this, what I mean when I say expansion. It has been a lot of expansion career-wise, business-wise, and stepping into really who I am, who I truly am, into my values and not being afraid to show up as who I am authentically in all areas of my life.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, I love that, especially being we're super a little bit close in age. I'm 33, so three years in. And I, gosh, when I tell you the same thing, I watched that same movie so many years ago, and I was like, what's the big deal about 30? I thought, oh, I turned 25. This is it. This gotta be it, right? This is adulting. I quickly realized it was not. There is such another level that happens. I feel like when you get to 30, it's almost like I always call it like my unlocking because I start to unlock these different parts of myself that I didn't realize were there quite yet, where I hadn't, you know, been opening, open to accepting those parts of myself just yet. So I want to introduce you to the audience here for the first time that y'all are meeting her here today. Gracia Rui Ruiz, Ruiz, goodness, is an author, recent author. We're gonna get into that later. She's a speaker and the founder of Italy Brides, which you guys heard an Italy-based wedding planning experience for the modern bride. She's also a change manager by trade. So she works remotely while at the same time building her dream business in sunny California, which I love California, y'all. It has seriously created just like another home for my heart that I didn't realize. I think before even the beginning of this year, I had never been to the West Coast at all. So I love that I got to be there. And that's where we met originally. And I love that you're here on the show today because we're gonna get to really dig into like what thriving actually looks like. Like you said, not just on the outside, but in your spirit and your relationships and living and your purpose. So you mentioned that you spent a lot of time this past year, you know, moving from like living on kind of autopilot to really feeling like you were living again. Can you talk about like what sparked that shift for you?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. So I definitely felt there were a lot of words. Autopilot is definitely one of those words that I use because that's exactly what my life was feeling like. I also have used the analogy of feeling like I'm on the wrong train, going the wrong destination, but not knowing how to get off. What stop do I get off at? What other train do I even want to get on? You know, prior to Black Friday 2024, I had already had, you know, since the pandemic, so we're talking five years now of gut feeling, knowing that I was in a career and at that point it was a project management role that did not feel aligned for me, even though the company was great, even though, you know, the benefits, the pay, you know, they were, you know, compensating fairly. They were uh, again, good culture, but just the actual role itself felt like it was killing me from the inside out. And I did feel where I'm just living life every day kind of looks the same. And I'm not really in control or driving if it's on autopilot. Life is lifing for you. You know, you're not in the driver's seat. So I remember writing on my raw wall, actually, right here, that I wanted to be in control. I wanted to be in the driver's seat of my life again and no longer in the passenger seat. And so basically, Black Friday, what that meant for me was just it was this day of reflection and this like really big emotional catharsis of no longer ignoring how I was feeling and truly doing the work of figuring out what I wanted next. And so, how what I started to do was first of all identify what my fears even were of switching careers or starting a business. I actually did values-based work in mental health coaching. Through a mental health coaching program, we started talking about what are those? What do I even value, right? So, what is it? Right. And so by understanding what I wanted my life to look like, well, then now I can build a business or, you know, a new career that points to the kind of lifestyle I want to live instead of being completely stuck, lost. I don't, you know, having any direction. And so, yeah. So since that, met you at the Galantine's event in February, which that was like the start of the expansion year, right? And then I got business coaching. And now I get to be where I am today, completely renewed and definitely in the driver's seat again.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, I love it. I love it. And I love how you speak about figuring out what alignment meant for you in this season, now that you feel like you really are matching with what your alignment is, how how do you kind of maybe even on a day-to-day basis, how do you make sure that you are still growing in alignment versus maybe falling back to just doing the things, doing more, staying in that cycle.

SPEAKER_01:

So, like, um, how do I ensure that I remain in alignment? Yes, yes. Yeah, that's great. Again, I think it really does tie back to the values piece because before, to your point, it's like, how do I even know I'm in alignment with what? What am I aligning with? And also I think it's important, I say values because I think with I when it comes to our identities, they're ever evolving, they're ever changing. You are meant to keep changing, you were meant to keep evolving. So that might not necessarily, if you just like keep it to what do I like in this moment or my identity, it will keep shifting. And so I think the alignment piece comes, okay, going back to asking yourselves the question is this taking me closer to what I value? So in my case, as an example, not just talking about values. So in my case, what I was looking for was a bigger impact, purpose, and fulfillment from my career, which I was not feeling. So I definitely feel that more, much more with my business, but also with these kinds of engagements of podcasting and community building and these women's empowerment events. Those fill my purpose, fulfillment, and impact that I was looking for. And then when it comes to what I'm also looking for from a lifestyle from any career or business, I'm also looking for time freedom, which you know, I did have some of that, especially with the remote, there's some flexibility there, of course. But I was looking for uh freedom to be able to choose my own schedule. And also, again, when I am actually working, doing things that feel more fulfilling, more purpose-driven, more impactful. And so that's how I know it's again, it, I guess whatever actions I'm taking, are they taking me closer or further away from what I just mentioned I valued? And by the way, values, just like identity, yes, they are also evolving. Like I'm not saying, you know, but and that's okay. You rediscover what those new values are, and then you keep pointing your life to is it getting me closer or further away from?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, I love that. And I love that you brought in the ever-evolving thing, right? Because we're gonna keep getting older. What I value now as a 30-year 30-year-old, I may not have valued when I was in my 20s or looking towards the future when I'm in my 40s. They may completely change again. And you always have to keep checking in with self and being like, okay, does this still feel like it is aligned with my values? What, what are ask yourself the question, what are my values right now? I think just continuing to do that often, you know, as often as you can, like you said, Garcia, just keeps you aligned, keeps you on the right track, in the right train.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, yes, on the right train.

SPEAKER_01:

At the train platform.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, so you uh we're talking we're talking about discovering your values, right? And building your life around that. I want to dig more into because you talked briefly about it, about how you started to learn what your values are. Can you talk about how you started to really truly dig into what those are and maybe share with some of our listeners how they can start figuring out what theirs are?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's a great question. It's just funny. In this case, it's just a funny story, like to kind of put you into the actual moment that this happened. And I'm not saying this maybe is true for everybody, but it was true for me. And I do think there's something magical about a bubble bath. So where this happened for me was I was, again, I had plugged myself into a mental health coaching program. And basically, it's through my work, I, you know, was received 10 free sessions of mental health coaching. So I took that opportunity and I knew I needed some additional support. And so this program was pretty structured. Like I said, it was like very clearly 10 sessions. And so I think it was session, you know, five, four or five, I can't remember. But it was very specific to values. And so, I mean, in that case, they did send me a video just kind of explaining what does this even look like? What do you mean, you know, your values, right? And so once I looked through that video, and and the the bubble bath is important here because I had I was supposed to be doing quote unquote homework to identify my values. And I had been like procrastinating, putting it off because it takes some reflection. You have to take some time to reflect. You have to listen to yourself. And you can't listen to yourself until there's some silence involved. So that's where the bubble bath comes in. I finally had a self-care moment. I gave myself some time to do a bubble bath, to watch that video on my phone as I'm in the bubble bath, and then I'm reflecting. And then in that silence, in that moment, it's funny, it was two for one. Not only did I start writing down, just very simply, it really doesn't have to be this, like what I said, like, oh, I'm valuing, you know, for fulfillment purpose, this, it would just start with words, like one word. Yeah. So I just started going, oh, I value authenticity, I value simplicity, I value clarity, I value, and just start brainstorming, literally, just dump it all in a note. And as I started going, that moment also sparked the idea of Italy Brides, which I think is crazy. That was not the intention. I was over here just simply doing a value exercise, and that idea sparked this crazy idea of what if I turn my own wedding planning experience in Italy from my own wedding and help other brides do this because this sounds like it hits all of these values that I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_00:

That is so cool.

SPEAKER_01:

The takeaway really is reflection, right? Take some time to reflect, brainstorm. Don't be afraid to just dump it all in. Hey, we've got AI nowadays. AI is super helpful to put your once you do the brainstorming on your own, go, hey, here's all the words I chose. Like, what do some values maybe look like? Put that into Chat GPT.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, yeah. Goodness. AI is so helpful with with helping you pull out the themes so you can literally just dump it all out, get it all out of your head, and say, okay, help me now organize these thoughts. What does this all really start to mean? Um, I love that. I love it. Goodness. Okay, so I want to talk more about Italy Brides because my goodness, I just love this brand that you've built. I loved if y'all are not following her yet. We're gonna get into socials later, but I loved watching just your like behind the scenes, you know, and your stories and then recaps after of just how you were building this beautiful moment for like the bride and groomsmen, but then also keeping yourself in the equation, y'all. And y'all, she did this. What was it? It was like over a full week, right? Oh my goodness. Yes. Okay, well, what what has that journey with Italy Brides, what has that taught you now about really building a life that fits for you?

SPEAKER_01:

Ooh, ooh, yeah, so this is great. So I think, first of all, Italy Brides is not the first disclaimer, it's not the first business that I've started. And so, to your point about, you know, how does this business align with the kind of life I'm trying to build? Before I understood that if I understand my values, then I can point my life and my business and really anything I do towards those values. And all of a sudden, everything starts feeling very aligned. And it makes sense because you've got a North Star, you've got somewhere to point to. Before that, I hadn't done that kind of a work. And I just I had never been exposed to that before. And so instead, I was building businesses, and in those cases, they were they were both baking businesses. One was called Bakery by Gigi. It was custom cakes and cakes. Gigi is my name. And then the other one was Cherie, which was macarons. Point is, in both of those instances, I was building the business out of something that I loved to do, but not necessarily how I wanted to spend my time. And again, and that's totally fine. I experimented, I invested my time, energy, and realized what I do like and what I don't like. So, based on that experience, the biggest takeaway was the time freedom part was not there. If anything, it was actually taking, I'm not the fastest baker. Some people are really good at this. That is not a natural skill of mine. I make goodies taste good, but I don't do them fast. And if you're trying to operate a business and scale it, you need to operate faster or you need to outsource this, right? So I just wasn't there and I realized that I was actually spending the majority of my time doing manual labor that I personally wasn't really enjoying. And I actually enjoyed marketing the goodies at the end of the day. I enjoyed going out to farmers markets and meeting other vendors. So I was actually spending like 10% of my time doing the things I liked and like 90% doing things I didn't like. So with Italy Brides and with the bubble bath moment, I decided to take another try at this. And so I started with one bride and groom, to your point, the one that I just got to do their wedding. And it was very much like, you know what? I'm not going to force myself to say this is it and this is the last business I'll ever try. No, it's let me just try it out and see if this is a better fit. And this truly is a better fit. Why? I get to work remotely, right? So I get to work with couples all over the world from my home, you know, in California. And at the end of the day, It's very international, right? Where you're going to Italy. I studied international business. So it relates clearly to some of my educational background, but also interests. And I'm very passionate about the Italian culture, very passionate about the culture, the food, the people, the energy you feel there. And so everything just started feeling like it was aligning to those values. I felt a greater impact, greater purpose, greater fulfillment. But also I get to work primarily doing what I love most during that time, which is again that marketing side. I get to do content creation. I get to really inspire brides to find out what's possible for them. So really that piece, the inspiration piece is big for me, realizing that I get to spend the most of my time inspiring people, whatever that looks like. From a personal standpoint, I want to inspire you to follow your dreams. From a bridal standpoint, I want to inspire you that if you want to get married in Italy, it is possible. You just need a plan. You need a strategy and a plan, but you can do it.

SPEAKER_00:

I love that. Goodness. The the just you can do it mindset. And I feel like just the energy I'm feeling just throughout just knowing you this entire time is just stop waiting for the perfect time. Is there anything? I know the bubble bath moment, right? But is there anything that helped you stop waiting for the perfect time to chase that dream to say, okay, I'm gonna pivot, right? Why not?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's a great question. I think that this is where it leads to how we met too, actually. And I'm so, so grateful with how we met. Like I said, I I mean, I just wanted to talk about that for a second because both of us met in a moment of really, I think just leaping, like taking a leap of faith. Right. And so, at least for me for sure, the event in February was my very first time putting myself in a room, basically in a room with people in person with other women who were, you know, a few steps down like up the ladder than I was, or a few steps, you know, further than I was, building businesses that were giving them exactly what I mentioned is they were building businesses that were providing them with more time freedom that also were purpose-driven, more impact, more fulfilling. And I knew, and I could see it on the online space, I knew this was real. There's real people out there. I had never met any of them. And I needed to make it real for myself. I'm like, okay, I see this online, but I want in-person connection. I want to actually meet these people. I want to meet these women and I want to get inspired. So that's where you and I met. And I don't know, I think that was your first event as well.

SPEAKER_00:

I well, I had been to events previously, but I think that was my first event after just having Henry. That was my first kind of coming out of postpartum event, coming out of this like huge motherhood transformation, going from two to three babies and being in that space of just like, okay, who am I now? What do I want to do? I was in that phase of just like, okay, what I've been doing has been great, but there's more in there, right? There's a deeper level. And I just could not get to it at that point until I think I got to that event. It was a very spur of the moment, too. Very spur of the moment.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And it was, and it's you said it was the first time on the West Coast. So maybe it wasn't your first event ever. But I mean, you got in a plane, you know, like it's yeah. That's what I mean by the leap of faith. Like you're looking you know, I for me it was it was not a plane, but it was still a drive, you know, six-hour drive. I grabbed my mom. I didn't want to go alone yet. I wasn't ready. And so that event is really what you know that moment was my first practice to your point of like, how do I practice actually taking action, right? And so they say action leads to clarity. So the you know, in order to not wait for the perfect time, I just had to start somewhere, anywhere. And for me, I knew that I needed to start what I needed most was validation. In that moment, I really did need the external validation. The goal is to, of course, not need that, right? But in that moment, I knew that's what I needed. So I went and found it so that I could find that an external validation in the sense that there, this is like um a proven, you know, business model or it's a proven lifestyle. It's a proof, like I needed proof in person and in. And thanks to that, I also made my next intuition-based decision. I'm very logic-based. So for me to be making intuition-based decisions, it took some practice. It was new for me, which that next step was I invested in a group coaching program with one of the speakers I met at that event. She happened to be closer to where I am locally. And so I got to invest in that program. And that really continued that expansion. And by having a support system finally and taking small actions stacked on each other, then I stopped waiting for the perfect time because those opportunities started presenting themselves. And I started saying yes to these opportunities that I didn't know of before and wouldn't have been plugged into before.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Beautiful, beautiful. I think it was probably in that room that both of us decided to lock into a community that was gonna support us on this journey. Cause like you can't, you can't do it alone, guys. It's about getting in the right rooms around the right people, and also seeing I need support. I need support. Sure, I can go back home and like figure this out by myself. I've done that previously in the past with events, just gone to events, taken a lot of notes, and gone back home and reflected and still been like, okay, now what do I do with all of this great information? I don't know what the next step is and like really getting you locked into community, whatever that looks like for you, can help you figure out like what those steps should be. So I want to spend a little bit of time here on the book because you are an author. My goodness, what what a beautiful way to just step into your 30s, being a published author. Can you talk about just what it was like writing, writing in a book, writing for, you know, for a book, what it felt like to, what it feels like to just have your story just out there.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. It's so surreal and it's also beautiful. It's so, yes, I am a recent published author. Now I only wrote one chapter in in a larger collection book. So my goal is to eventually write a full book. That would be amazing.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

This is such a great step in the right direction. And it was, you know, it takes a lot of vulnerability because in this, this book specifically is called This Time It's Personal. And so the title tells you it's going to be personal. My chapter, the chapter of all the other women in the book, are very, very personal stories of our transformation and how we are all actively building lives that fit what we are looking for. And so it was very beautiful to actually be able to sit down. And I mean, it took me, you know, quite quite a few hours, right? Of over multiple days, of course, of sitting down and really thinking and reflecting, getting my own big bubble bath moment to reflect and think about what really led me here, right? Like where, so what have I already learned and gained? What am I still learning? And so it was a really, really beautiful experience. It's really awesome to get to reflect on your own life and realize first of all, look at everything you've accomplished. Second of all, yeah, this is where you currently are, and here's where you're going. And so that it's funny. And in the chapter, there is a section about the bubble bath revelation. And so that's how I can talk about it now, is because thanks to that chapter helping me organize my thoughts and be, you know, write out my story. I now have this story that I can share. Uh that's organized. My thoughts are all organized in the sense of, oh wow, like this is what led me here. And so it's a great feeling. And I am always, I have always been an open book for the most part, but I hadn't necessarily put my story into words like that. And it is really cool that I I really hope that women feel inspired by my story and by other women's stories. Like that is the entire point of the book. And I think it's really cool because I know I've read books and I've never met the author, and I'm super inspired by them. So that's the goal. I hope that I get to inspire someone out there, even if you've never met me, even if we never meet, regardless, like go out and do the thing.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. Oh gosh. You know, you bring up a great point. My husband and I, we were watching a show yesterday. We literally were like, we've never met an author of a book. And I was like, wait a minute. Now you reminded me. Yes, I did. I totally have. Gosh. Okay. So, Gracia, while we're moving to the end of our episode here, is there a book, a quote, or a mantra that has been guiding you this year? We're winding down to the end of 2025, which is absolutely wild to me. But can you leave the listeners with anything that can help propel them in this next year?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. So for me, the book Worthy by Jamie Kern Lima has been extremely helpful because we talked about doing values, you know, understanding your values, we talked about, you know, not waiting for the perfect time, putting yourself in the right rooms, we talked about a lot of these things. But if you don't feel worthy of receiving this, of a change, of living a better life and a life that better fits you, if you do not feel worthy of those things, that is the very first thing you need to learn because you are already worthy right now. But I can't make you believe that. You have to believe it yourself. And so just that book that has been really helpful in my own journey of worthiness. Because honestly, that really is step one. Once you finally believe you're worthy, then you start taking all these steps, steps and outs because you're coming from uh a place. And it's not just self-confidence, it really, really is self-worth. Self-confidence is externally based and facing, but self-worth is internal, and nobody can take that away from you. So that is uh a big recommendation for me. So powerful.

SPEAKER_00:

Goodness. Okay, so I uh first of all, just thank you. Thank you for coming on today. Thank you for sharing your energy with me, with the listeners, your story with us, y'all. Please go grab the book and read Gracia's chapter. I I promise you, is going to be impactful for you. Her story is just, like I said, it's it's personal, it's vulnerable. And I feel like just you connect with so many women who maybe like are in their 20s, about to go into their 30s, or women who are in their 30s now and still trying to figure it out and being like, okay, what do I do next? I'm in my 30s, what what is next? Um, so you've just you've reminded us all today just that thriving is not about having it all together. It's literally choosing every day to wake up to your life again and truly live it, right? And not just live it in that monotonous way of just I'm doing the things, I'm checking the boxes, but living it fully aligned. So can you let the listeners know where they can connect with you and just continue to hear your story, stay supported, um, and just watch your journey.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you so much. Yes. So for my personal account and any, you know, following my personal journey is at it's Grecia Ruiz. And on for, you know, any brides out there, or frankly, anybody that just wants some really fun Italy content, you can go ahead and follow at Italy Brides. And then as for the book, you can find a link to that in my bio in my at It's Grecia Ruiz profile.

SPEAKER_00:

I love it. Goodness. Thank you, Gracia, and y'all, until next time. Keep expanding, keep evolving, and keep thriving. Thanks, Ebony. Thank you so much for listening, love. If anything in today's episode resonated with you, share it with your bestie or share it on social media and tag me so we can chat about it. As always, sending you light and love. And remember, you are worthy, you are enough, and you deserve to thrive.